Dog God
by GhostlyWrath
Summary: Humans are stupid, foolish creatures. Monkeys are stupid, foolish creatures. I hope I never get worshipped by humans ever again. End of story. Rated for swearing. Pairings can really go wherever you want them to. Inuyasha's POV.


Dog God

As we walked through a decrepit village, the others seemed completely oblivious to the fact that there were various, gaping holes littering the ground. Finally, Sango, at least, realized that every field was ruined. And then there was Miroku, "It could have been a boar". Boar my ass- the entire place smelled of goddamn monkeys.

Suddenly, my ear swiveled around to catch a sound, and my eyes sought to find the group of approaching humans. At first, I thought that they were insulting me, humans often doing such things, but they ran over to us, and suddenly prostrating themselves on the ground in front of me, cries of "Dog God" falling from their lips. Although there were only seven humans at first, they dragged me off to their village.

After we got to their village, they maneuvered me onto the headman's steps in front of the rest of the village, summoned by cries of "Dog God" by the apparent headman. Two young women stood by, fanning me, as the rest of my group stood off to the side.

'Dog God, huh? Sounds like some of those Zodo what'sits, and Zen Buddhist bastards that used to follow me around a while back… Stupid humans.' My attention was brought back when I saw a young girl put an offering of pickled vegetables in front of me. My ears pressed flat against my skull. 'At least those bastard monks found me some deer meat.' My ordinance forced me to protest against being given pickled _vegetables_ as an _offering _. At the look on my face, the villagers quickly apologized at the noticeable lack of good food and attempted to placate me.

Right as my irritation was beginning to die down some, Miroku made some wise-ass comment about the villagers being desperate to want help me from me. As the irritation came back, one of the old men who had been talking before explained that monkeys had been ravaging their fields. Fighting back a sigh and the increasing desire to leave, I at least faked a reaction to confirm the smell from earlier… for the villager's sakes at least.

My mind wandered back to my foolish "followers" and I felt irritation seeping back into my body. As the villagers begged me to kill the monkeys, I got consistently more irritated by their ungrateful behavior. 'The least they could do is _pretend_ to grovel _properly_ .'

As my Mind resolved, I prepared to steadfastly refuse, but everyone from my group had to gang up on me about the situation and village's "plight". In addition to making me help the worthless ingrates, Miroku, (the stupid lecher) had the gall to assure me that he and Sango would continue searching for Naraku, when his scent was clearly betraying the lie. Eventually I gave up arguing with 'my' group. It's not like I have any freedom anymore, anyways. Now with this damn collar around my neck.

Of course, giving up on getting out of my situation didn't stop me in the least from griping. At least Kagome and the brat, Shippo, helped my ego with the whole "Dog God" deal. I thought about that for a moment, listening to three sets of heartbeats- from the front, and back. I had to struggle to keep my face straight as the three monkey brats decided to finally show themselves. Like I couldn't tell a real demon from an illusion created by three stupid little monkey brats. At least I could work off a little anger on them.

I swear… to whatever God is laughing at me: My pride… will be the death of me. A snarl tore its way out of my throat at the fact I'd, yet again, been tricked by a monkey about the size of my head. 'I hate monkeys.' I heard my body practically snap as a boulder was added to the one that had just been stuck to my right hand. Kagome and Shippo, of course, left me under those boulders to chase the monkeys down.

I let myself lay under those boulders for a while, trying to calm myself down before I got out from under the rocks. After that I just ran after the monkeys' scent, having to drop the boulder every couple of seconds, the weight threatening to fracture even my arm.

I found those damn monkey smelling of Kagome's strange, sweet, human food from Kagome's world. That, combined with the fact that Shippo was criticizing my admittedly short temper, and the fact that the trio of monkeys had apparently forgotten how to undo the spell binding the boulder to my hand, put me in a decidedly foul mood. The only saving them from a painful death was that, supposedly, their missing Monkey God would be able to undo the spell on me.

"We must hurry back to the village and find the sacred object." I felt my eye twitch as I stared at Kagome. 'She did _not_ just completely ignore me.' "You Should have just waited back there!" I watched her for a moment after she ran off. I then proceeded to _continue_ to stand in the same place, cursing every human I had ever known, for allowing such a selfish person to have been born. Then, I finally set off after her, dragging the boulder after him.

After a while, my back ached horribly, and my tail bone felt like it was burning inside of my hakama. I closed my eyes against my throbbing body, pained by the weight of the boulder and the pain of the seal's power on the boulder. Shippo, of course, decided to irritate me, keeping a little ways in front of me, asking if I was tired. I'm _surrounded_ by idiots, I really am.

To keep my mind off of the pain, I started to think about what would happen if the boulder was permanently stuck to my hand. Sesshoumaru would either kill me and then take the Tessaiga, or if I was lucky, he would simply take the Tessaiga! I stopped thinking for a moment, 'Actually, if Sesshoumaru killed me, it would be fast. I wouldn't end up tortured by some random demons.. Or humans for that matter…' And Kouga would probably sniff around a while, steal Kagome, and get his ass kicked by Sango and Miroku and probably castrated by Sango… and maybe even Shippo.

After my body stopped spasming, I decided to run, at least, to distract myself. Although, if those damn monkeys lost their God, then there wasn't much chance that _I'd_ find the Sacred Object. 'Miroku'll probably find it, whenever he stops being a lazy bastard. Of course, when I get down from the mountain, the normal situation occurred. Kagome asked only how I had gotten to the village outskirts so fast, the monkeys warning her, saying that I was too dangerous. Obviously, I socked them each partly from irritation, but mostly because it was their fault for putting me in this whole situation.

Finally the damn villagers realized that I wasn't a God '_no, really?_'. Unfortunately, their attitudes when they believed me to be a God was disrespectful enough, but now their attitudes changed to downright apathetic, even though we were helping the bastards. So, naturally, I said the first thing that came to mind at the time, "I am going to destroy (your damn) village (you ungrateful bastards)." Actually, I'm pretty sure that I worded the thought slightly differently.

"Osuwari." How I hate that damn word. Osuwari; Sit; Sitzen sie; Zuo; Reposez- vous. However you word it, it's still my word of subjugation. That old hag, Kaede, put the damn rosary around my neck. And Kagome, of course, had chosen the most _demeaning _word her panicked little mind could come up with at the time: Sit. Like a common dog, a pet, chained willingly to a human _master_.

Despite being half dog demon, I despise dogs. Allowing themselves to be ordered this way and that, chained up, stripped of power and will, they always barked noisily if anything so much as went by. So, due to my horrible Karma, I ended up subjugated with a word that tied me to those spineless, human-loving curs. But I digress from my digression. I truly hate these beads around my neck, but even more so recently, I hate the person who holds my leash, tightening it and _assuming_ I would blindly stay at her side. Sure, I care greatly about Kagome. She's a powerful pack-mate, and still a young girl needing some protection, but she assumes that I would trot sedately at her side.

After Sounga's attempt at world destruction/domination or whatever the hell that damn sword was tryin' to do, the beads of the subjugation necklace were broken. Naively I believed that having been with her for so long, Kagome would trust me enough to leave the beads alone. I was mistaken, however. She tricked me, slipping the repaired necklace around my neck, declaring that she never wanted me to go off by myself. Now, whenever she believes that _I_ am in the wrong, she decides to "Sit" me into the ground several dozens of times, and tear what little pride I have left, to shreds.

At least Kikyou respected me. She _trusted_ me, and only ever used a show of force if she believed I was about to _kill _her or take the Sacred Jewel. She never forced me to sink to her level, but treated me as a human worthy of his own say in his own affairs. So what _right_ does Kagome to have to try and take Kikyou's place? I do care greatly for Kagome, but she has no right to "Sit" me into the ground. Too bad that I can't put a subjugation neck on _her _and show her how it feels.

Rant over, I was laying on the ground, throbbing with pain from the force of the Word of Subjugation and the weight of the damn boulder on me. So what were Kagome and the villagers talking about? Some thrice damned "Sacred Object". Personally, I think that those three monkeys most likely just forgot it somewhere and the villagers were too stupid not to pick it up. That being said, we spent an entire day of me becoming more and more injured because of that damn boulder, as we ran up and down the mountains.

By the time the damn Monk and Demon Slayer came back, I was face flat in the ground, my entire body fatigued and flaring with pain. "What are you doing?" … If I could have gotten up, I would've strangled that damn monk for getting me into this damnable situation. For the life of me, I could only mutter a short response, "You guys help look for the sacred object too (you lazy, degenerate, unsympathetic, backstabbing, bastard monk)."

Humans, truly are, idiots. None of _my_ group even spared a thought to what would happen if I had a boulder stuck to my hand if we faced a strong demon, or Naraku. Laughing at my plight, imagining me, with a boulder stuck to my hand for the rest of what would be a very short life. I've lived dozens of times longer than them, and they keep fooling themselves into thinking I'm some slow-witted, oblivious fool.

Miroku moved a ways away from me, to attempt to see if he could use his Wind Tunnel to suck the boulder into his hand. _He_ may have been worried about sucking me in too, but I wasn't. To be honest, the human I most respect would be Miroku. When I first met him, he tricked the Sacred Jewel shards (and Kagome) from me. And later, when we fought, he moved away from the nearby villagers, fighting me _on par_, and he would have killed me if not for Kagome testing her theory of him not wanting to suck humans into his Wind Tunnel. And shortly after he started journeying with Kagome, Shippo, and I, he actually saved me when I killed one of the demons created by the damned Hell Ink Painter. In addition to that, he, on multiple occasions, goes against my will to keep me safe. My battle with Ryokan being a prime example.

Kagome was given the subjugation by Kaede. Shippo, a young orphaned fox kit, was adopted by Kagome. Sango and Kilala, are both strong, but Sango is still a weak-hearted woman, and is liable to go off whenever the damn monk did pretty much _anything_ perverted. But Miroku is kind, strong, logical and calm, and also knows when something is appropriate. Unfortunately, my paranoia got the best of me, and I stopped the monk from sucking the boulder in.

Later, when night had set in, Kagome stayed outside whereas the others of my group were warm and cozy inside the Headman's house. It was cold, but I was extremely glad of her company in the dark night, when all the wolves were warm, laying close against each other in their territories. Whereas, I was with a woman, a girl really, stuck to a goddamn rock.

All of a sudden, Kagome stopped an elderly woman with a container of pickled vegetable. I immediately saw Miroku's face change at the sight of the container. Of course, Sango was at a loss as to what was going on, yet another reason she was the lesser of Miroku and to a lesser extent, Kagome. 'Hmm.. Cold and Damp.. Reeks of Vegetable..' I closed my eyes for a couple seconds to block the humans out, 'Ah! So the Sacred Object is in the field!' So, naturally, I and the Trio of Monkeys set off to retrieve the Monkey God, only to be pressed into the ground by the Word of Subjugation and the weight of the boulder that was stuck to my hand falling on top of me. "I hate that word."

Humans are truly foolish. And the monkeys. Forgetting about a _god_ and humans picking_ up _a god to use the Sacred Object to pickle _vegetables_. And even when the Monkey God was released from the Sacred Object, the stupid monkey bastards forgot about me as well.

I looked forlornly at the Monkey God's shrine, watching the villagers praise Miroku (although the damn monk had done nothing to warrant praise) as I had to work out all the kinks in my body. Damn I was sore. Every moment I made sent a wave of pain through my body, especially my tailbone, making me extremely glad that I didn't _have_ a tail. If I did, it would have gotten stuck under the boulder. I cannot _believe_ I wasted all this time on a stupid Monkey God.

Of course, the damn _God_ paid no attention to a little _half-demon_, whatsoever. He went on about an _incredibly_ evil aura (presumably Naraku's) that had gone the way of the Ox and Tiger and then vanished. Thankfully for what little patience I had left, I could feign my enthusiasm about having a lead on that bastard Naraku, and I managed to not kill any humans.

Humans are stupid, foolish creatures. _Monkeys are stupid, foolish creatures. I hope I never get worshipped by humans ever again. End of story._

A/N: So I've been meaning to post a story eventually. This is from Episode 88, obviously. Comments appreciated, and this is what I personally think Inuyasha would be thinking. See if you can pick out things I elaborated from the Anime. Enjoy.


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